Catch and Release
by Gloria Byrd
Summary: A howl. A patch of fur darting through the trees. Lavellan has found Solas at last, and you better believe she has questions.


Disclaimer: I do not own any properties of Dragon Age.

Lanyla Lavellan meandered on animal trails. Dead leaves crunched underfoot. Parrots screeched as flocks above her took off in rainbow flight. Trees hundreds of feet high sheltered her with their green tresses. Their roots scaled boulders, and she scaled the roots. Centipedes as long as her arm skittered away, their orange-striped backsides the only sign of their presence. Stormheart deposits glinted green in the little light the forest canopy let in. Lichen, moss, and giant mushrooms carpeted the dirt. Petrichor was the only scent even Lavellan's elven nose could smell. As real as all this seemed, however, she knew it was not. She was in the Fade, dreaming. The edge of her vision blurred. Voices beyond her reach seemed to whisper in her ears; although, the speakers were not the object of her search. For years she had been hunting for the hunter. He was almost always there, right at the corner of her eye, but when she would turn, he would disappear. Her dreams had brought her to the Arbor Wilds, or he had brought her. She was not a Dreamer, so she was not able to control what she dreamt of. Every night she longed for him, and every day she needed him by her side. She could have neither. Her lover had left her for a plan thousands of years in the making, a plan that could destroy the world she lived in but restore the world of her lineage. If she did not find him soon, the remnants of the Inquisition would. They would not be merciful.

Lavellan's ears perked up at the sound she had been waiting for. A long howl echoed over the hills. She ran toward the sound. Her feet clad in Dalish shoes that lacked soles hit the hard, agonizingly sharp ground. Broken branches jabbed and scratched at her heels. Thorns from bushes grated her arm. Mud splattered on her armor. White fur came into view behind the trees. Her legs pumped faster. The wolf darted away.

"Wait!" she exclaimed. She stopped running and closed her eyes. She held out an unsteady hand. Light eddied around her fingers and streamed in the direction of the wolf. A brilliant wall of light temporarily blinded her. She stumbled forward, falling several times into the undergrowth. Her hand landed on a round, white wall standing before her. It stood twice as tall as she. She leaned against it. "Solas," she whispered.

Her heartbeat stopped until a voice came from within the wall. "_Vhenan_," his voice came as a hoarse whisper that restored the function of her heart. "You've found me at last. I suspect you have questions."

Lanyla burst into laughter. "Those are your words for this situation? Are you kidding me?"

"Please, _vhenan_. Release me."

"I'm never letting go. I love you, Solas. I can't," she rested her forehead on the wall, "I can't live without you. Every moment, every day, it's you in my thoughts."

"You know what I must do."

"I know what you _should_ do!" She punched the wall and tried to ignore the instant pain it sent through her hand. "You shouldn't have tricked me, Fen'Harel!" She mocked his name. "You shouldn't have played with my heart and then threatened to annihilate the world I have sworn to protect!"

"I'm trying to save our world, our _true_ world. It was my mistake that I grew close to you. I apologize for the pain I have caused you."

"You are talking like a Tranquil! Stop that! Please come back." A tear slid down her cheek. "_Please_," she begged to the elf on the other side of the wall.

"You must release me."

"Not until you forgo your plans! Return to Skyhold with me."

"_Vhenan_––"

She grated, "Don't call me 'your heart' after abandoning me!"

"I can escape this trap whenever I want."

"Then why aren't you?"

He hesitated. "Our last parting did not end on pleasant terms. I wish to amend that."

"A hell of a job you're doing!

"Let me see your arm." He spoke quietly.

"What?"

"The arm lost to the Anchor. I would like to see it." It seemed genuine.

She released the magic that held the wall. Lanyla saw him for the first time since he had left her. She took a step forward.

She saw him scrutinizing her and frowned. "I'm sorry," he murmured. "I'm sorry for . . . everything."

He was sorry? He admitted it? Was he tricking her again? Did he think it was his fault that she had gotten the Anchor, that she had lost her arm? She sighed a breath of pain at the realization. He blamed himself for her losses. He was partly right about that, but she did not blame him. Receiving the Anchor was the only reason they met. That was one of the few things she didn't regret, even for all the hurt it caused her. Solas was worth it.

_Solas_. There was solace in Solas that negated her party members' beliefs that he was soulless.

The need for him overwhelmed her thoughts. She traced his skin along his arm, his neck, his face. "Stay," she muttered. He closed his eyes as his hand moved to rest on hers.

"I can't."

"I will wait for you."

"I do not think that is a sensible idea."

She looked into his eyes, eyes that had seen too much to bear over his many years. "There is no one like you, nor will there ever be. If I can't have you, I'll have no one." She listened to their heartbeats in sync and smiled softly.

"Will you release me?" He shattered the silence and her heart.

Despite that, she pondered it. She could be selfish, make him stay, but he would leave anyway and with a broken heart, or she could let him go. She had done so before. He always came back. He could continue his plans but with a distraction planted in his mind, and maybe, just maybe, next time he would stay.

She took ahold of the collar of his armor and pressed her lips to his. She embraced him. He lifted her off her feet. She never wanted this to end, but end it did.

Nothing is immortal.

She loosened her hold on him and spoke softly. She could not bear to see his reaction to her next words. "_Ar lasa mala revas._" She remembered him saying those exact words when he had removed her _vallislin_ and then broken up with her.

"Farewell, _ma vhenan_." He tucked a strand of her hair behind an ear. He then vanished into the very air with green ripples being the only remnant of his presence.

"You will return," she whispered after him. "You always do."

. . .

Solas wandered through her dream as he had so many times before. She searched for him, hunted. He always ran away. The wolf had become the prey.

He brushed his fingers over cracked marble blanketed in moss. It was once railing for a grand stairway. He had run his fingers over its very surface ages ago. He had walked gilded halls lined with mosaics of the _Evanuris_. He had emerged from _eluvians_ as large as Orlesian palace gates. He had used magic he could only dream of now, literally. His people had gone from the greatest civilization in Thedas to being slaves and clans. His plan, if it worked, would bring back nearly everything, but one woman stood in his way. Worst of all, it was his own fault. Lanyla had become a new world for him. It was as if he stood before two _eluvians_, one leading to the elven people, the other to her. The pathway behind him was crumbling. He had to decide soon.

His ears picked up footsteps. Lanyla was close. He shifted into his less terrifying wolf form. White fur now covered him. He wondered why he had chosen a form that was so obvious in the foliage if he wanted to remain hidden, but he did not want to think about his heart choosing for him at the moment. He crouched, about to abscond, when he spotted her through the leaves. Her pale golden hair cascaded over her shoulders and down her back over her Dalish armor. Her ears emerged from her hair in sharp points. Large, sapphire eyes searched for him. He longed to run to her, to change into his elven form and embrace her, kiss her hair, promise that he would never leave her. He found himself howling at the sky, a mournful cry for a love he could not have. He shook himself and dashed away. Her footfalls stopped. He stopped and turned around. Bright light surrounded him. He had no chance to escape it. Well, he did if he truly wanted to, but he could not bring himself to lose another opportunity to see her face. He changed into his elven form just as the light solidified into a wall around him.

"_Vhenan_," he uttered. His muscles relaxed at the knowledge of her presence. She was only feet away. He had to restrain himself from manifesting outside the wall and taking her in his arms. "You've found me at last. I suspect you have questions." He spoke the recited words, words that should keep her from letting down the wall. He knew that if she took the wall down, he would never leave.

Lanyla snorted. "Those are your words for this situation? Are you kidding me?"

"Please, _vhenan_. Release me." It pained him to speak those words.

"I'm never letting go. I love you, Solas. I can't . . . I can't live without you. Every moment, every day, it's you in my thoughts."

"You know what I must do." He grimaced.

She yelled, "I know what you should do!" He heard a thump on the other side and set his hand on the wall in concern. "You shouldn't have tricked me, Fen'Harel. You shouldn't have played with my heart and then threatened to annihilate the world I have sworn to protect!"

He spoke again without expression. _This is the only way,_ he tried to tell himself. Distance was safety. "I'm trying to save our world, our true world. It was my mistake that I grew close to you. I apologize for the pain I have caused you."

"You are talking like a Tranquil!" He stepped back in alarm. Tranquility was one of the few things that scared him. For such words to come from her mouth made him dizzy. "Stop that! Please come back. _Please_."

"You must release me." He bit his lip to keep from contradicting himself by saying what he wanted to.

"Not until you forgo your plans! Return to Skyhold with me."

His voice cracked. "_Vhenan_––"

"Don't call me 'your heart' after abandoning me!"

"I can escape this trap whenever I want." There. The words were out. That probably wasn't smart, he realized.

"Then why aren't you?"

He considered his options. "Our last parting did not end on pleasant terms. I wish to amend that." He thought that sounded honest enough.

"A hell of a job you're doing!" she yelled. He cringed.

Several painful heartbeats passed before he replied, "Let me see your arm."

"What?"

"The arm lost to the Anchor. I would like to see it." That was genuine.

The wall came down like an unraveled tapestry. The lovers were left staring into each other's eyes. Lanyla tentatively stepped forward. Solas saw her missing arm. It took all his strength not to weep for her. Most of her arm was gone, disintegrated by the Mark and finished by his magic in order to save her life. His fingers hovered over the ghost appendage and then turned his gaze to her dark blue eyes lined at the edges by little wrinkles. Those were not there before.

"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I'm sorry for . . . everything." He had not meant to say that. He did not plan this reunion, but he needed it.

Her fingers trailed his arms up to his neck and then his face. His skin tingled at her touch. He tried to pull away, but a part of him refused. "Stay," she pleaded as her eyes searched his. He moved his hands to hers resting on his cheek. He shut his eyes.

"I can't," he mouthed, unable to say the words. She bit her lip and moved forward, pressing herself against his chest.

"I will wait for you."

"I do not think that is a sensible idea."

She looked up at him. "There is no one like you, nor will there ever be. If I can't have you, I'll have no one." Their hearts thudded together in the next few moments filled only by the squawking of far-off birds.

"Will you release me?" He detested breaking that perfect silence. However, he could not allow himself to live within a dream, whether in the Fade or in his heart.

Her eyebrows lowered in deep thought. Then, she pulled him down by the collar and kissed him. Her arms wrapped around his neck. Solas embraced her, eventually holding her completely off the ground.

They released each other reluctantly. She spoke quietly and with her gaze downcast. "_Ar lasa mala revas._" His lips parted at the sound of the words he had spoken to freed slaves so many times, and they were the same words he had said to her when he had removed her _vallislin_. He was free, but he did not want to be.

"Farewell, _ma vhenan,_" he whispered, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. He ran his fingers through it. He wanted to record this moment in his memory. It could be the last time he would ever see her. He stepped away as slowly as possible. Her hand slid away from his face and dropped to her side. He permitted the mists of the Fade to cloak him. He drifted along streams, occasionally seeing dreamers, spirits, and demons. Lanyla faded from view with the changed tides. The streams brought him to a stone platform that coalesced before him. On it were two _eluvians_. The current released him on the stone. He glanced around, and, seeing no one and nothing watching him, stepped forward. The stone behind him crumbled. He could easily leave this space and wake up, but again, his curiosity and feelings overtook him. He took another step. Another. Again. He now stood before the two with only enough ground to be under his feet. This was a trick of the Fade he knew; spirits must have been toying with him. Still, he turned to both _eluvians_ but could not see the other side. Somehow, he knew which _eluvian_ corresponded to whom. He took a deep breath and stepped through that which he chose.

**A/N: Hope you guys liked this! Check out my other Dragon Age fics: Immortal, "Sweet Sorrow," "Come the Dawn," and "Fading Pride." Please leave a review and follow & favorite!**


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